Equality and Family Responsibilities: How to Share the Load

Whether you are a two-income family, or one is the breadwinner while the other stays home with the children, finding an equitable method of sharing the family responsibilities can be a challenge. All too often, one parent winds up feeling they are bearing most of the burden. It’s not long before a feeling of being overwhelmed and underappreciated can set in. Keeping family life running smoothly is a task best shared, and the best place to start is by sitting down and formulating a plan.

Take It Seriously

If your partner comes to you complaining of feeling overwhelmed, the first instinct might be a defensive reply outlining just how hard you are working too. That might be true, but try your best to see it from the other side. Especially in a family where one person works outside the home and the other stays with the kids, things really can get off-balance in a hurry. The working parent often feels that because they have to leave the house and earn a paycheck, they aren’t responsible for doing as much around the house.

Bear in mind that a stay at home parent isn’t just doing one job, but multiple jobs every day. The tasks of caring for children, keeping the house clean, preparing several meals a day, and running all the various necessary errands keep this parent who “doesn’t work” going from dawn until dusk. There are no weekends from this job, no vacations, and no sick days either.

If you both work outside the home, you will have a limited number of hours when you are at home to make sure all the household tasks get completed. Both partners need to do their fair share to keep one person from becoming overwhelmed.

Figure Out What Needs to Be Done

Make a detailed list of the daily, weekly, and monthly tasks. Include everything from emptying the dishwasher to taking the kids to check ups. Seeing all the tasks laid out in this manner makes it easier to see just how much there is to get done! Split it into categories: housework, childcare, and errands.

Once you have your list, divide it fairly. There may be some tasks more suited to one partner or the other, and there is nothing wrong with that. It makes sense for a stay at home parent to take the kids to their doctor’s visits. But there is no reason that both parents can’t take turns making dinner.

If there is a task your partner just really can’t stand doing, offer to take it on, but pass on one of your more hated chores in return. You could also decide on a monthly or weekly rotation of chores, so no one is stuck with the same jobs all the time. Don’t forget the kids! Even toddlers can take on a few small chores, and it’s never too early to start teaching responsibility.

Post the list of regular jobs and who is responsible for each in a visible place as a reminder that everyone is accountable for their fair share. You might want to purchase a white board so that the jobs can be changed according to a rotation, or erased when completed.

Compromise is the key to harmony in the home. You will find that everyone is a lot happier when no one feels overworked and underappreciated!

Great Games for the Youngest Babies

Even in the earliest months, there are games you can play with your baby to engage, stimulate, and encourage development. While baby isn’t really ready yet for much in the way of toys, she is taking everything in and will soon start responding to your efforts to communicate. Simple games, although they start out one sided, are a great way to motivate those responses.

Remember when you are talking to and playing with your new baby, especially in the first three months, that her eyesight is still developing. She sees best from a distance of about a foot, and is best able to make out high contrast colors, especially black and white. So keep games up close and personal to allow baby to see what’s going on.

Making Faces

Young babies respond best to human faces. There is nothing they would rather look at, so using your face to play games with baby is a great way to get started. Start with the most basic baby game – peek-a-boo. First hide your whole face in your hands, then try hiding just half, covering one eye and then the other, or just your mouth or eyes. Next, drop down out of baby’s sight and then reappear.

Make different faces for baby by changing your expression, sticking out your tongue, and raising your eyebrows. You can combine this game with peek-a-boo by varying the expression on your face every time it reappears. Eventually, you will notice that she starts smiling or trying to imitate your expressions, but for the first few months she is just taking it all in. Don’t be disappointed if there isn’t as much reaction as you had hoped for; your baby is just too young yet to respond, but she is definitely paying attention.

A Little Anatomy Lesson

In the first months of life, your baby is just learning that he even has a body, never mind what to do with it. Discovering body parts like hands and feet are great fun for baby, and games that point out body parts are a great way to help baby locate and learn all about his own body.

A classic game like “This Little Piggy” is a great one for young babies. It’s best done with baby lying on his back, so his feet can be up in the air and within his range of sight. Kneel over him and grab each toe as you play the game. Stick with the traditional tale of the piggy that went to market and the one who stayed home, or make up your own words. Just make sure to include the grand finale, tickling your fingers up baby’s body!

Another simple anatomy game is to lay your baby on the floor and kiss each body part in turn, naming them as you go. Start at the feet and work your way up so you can finish by kissing his soft little cheeks and lips! This is a wonderful post-bath game when you can get at all those little parts before putting clothes on again!

Remember that your baby is learning even when he is very young and doesn’t appear to be involved in what’s going on. His developing mind is working overtime absorbing information and trying to make sense of it. Before long, baby will start playing his part in the games as well, and you will realize he was paying attention all along.

Do Pregnancy and Cats Mix?

You are absolutely ecstatic! You have just found out that you are pregnant and what better cause for celebration and jubilation. You want to shout it from the roof tops and share it with everyone you know, including your beloved pet. However, you have been told by someone who was told by someone that cats can carry a disease that can harm your baby. Is it true? Do you have to give up your precious cat?

Well, you will be relieved to know that the answer to this question is NO. Just having a cat during your pregnancy is harmless. However, you will have to make one major change, because there is a risk of disease. This change, unless you are already very fortunate not to have this job as part of your chores, is that you must stop cleaning the litter box.

“Woohoo”, you shout. No more litter box scooping. Yes, this is a nice side bonus of being pregnant. If you are on your own for any reason and need to clean the litter box, then wear rubber gloves and wash your hands thoroughly after you are finished. So why all the fuss? The name of the disease that can be transmitted is called toxoplasmosis.

Toxoplasmosis is generally transmitted to outdoor cats from a parasite that they pick up from prey that they eat or from contaminated soil. Indoor cats rarely have a chance of infection. If you work outdoors in your garden, then you should also wear gloves. Humans can also contract the disease from coming into contact with or eating raw or undercooked meat.

This means that if you eat meat, then you also need to take precautions. Of course, safe handling of meat is always a concern, but when pregnant you need to be even more diligent. Ensuring you do not cut meat and other food on the same cutting board and that you clean up thoroughly after handling and cutting raw meat is essential.

Of course, you might already carry immunity to toxoplasmosis. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) states that more than 60 million people in the US carry the parasite that causes the disease, but few show the symptoms of it because the human immune system generally keeps the parasite under control.

The symptoms of toxoplasmosis are often not present, but when they are present they are usually flu-like symptoms that last for a few weeks. Once gone, the parasite lies dormant and will remain that way unless the immune system becomes compromised. However, in the unborn child there can be severe consequences if infection occurs. The child’s neurological and ocular development can be compromised. Miscarriage is also possible.

Of course, if the pregnant woman already has immunity to toxoplasmosis, then the baby will also have that immunity. It is only when the mother contracts the disease for the first time while pregnant that the unborn child is in danger. If you take the precautions mentioned above and avoid cleaning the litter box or handling raw meat, you should be able to safely go through your pregnancy without concern. You can enjoy the feeling of being pregnant and you can still enjoy your first baby – your cat. After all, we do love our pets and you will want your child to grow up with the joys of having a cat in the house. Rest assured that you can do so safely.

What to Ask when Choosing a Pediatrician

Your child’s pediatrician will play an important role in her life from the day she is born. You will want to find someone you like, trust, and can depend on to listen to your concerns and always help you make the right decisions for your child’s health. Most pediatricians are available for prenatal interviews, to help you in your decision prior to baby’s birth. Asking the right questions will make it easier to narrow down the choices.

Where to Start

Choosing doctors to interview out of a phone book is both tedious and overwhelming. Rather than wasting your time, ask for recommendations from family, friends and your obstetrician. You can then shorten this list by checking it against your insurance company’s list to cut out any doctors not covered under your plan. You might also want to strike off the list any doctor who lives too far away from your home.

Questions to Ask About the Office

When you call to make an appointment with the doctor, you can get a few important questions out of the way over the phone. Important general things to know about the office:

  • What are the office hours, and do they offer any evening or weekend appointments?
  • Does the office have separate waiting rooms for well and sick children?
  • How far in advance do they require well-child visits to be made, and how quickly are they generally able to schedule a sick child?
  • Do they offer a 24-hour on call physician?
  • Do they have advice nurses available for questions, and will you also be able to speak to the doctor over the phone should you need to?
  • Do they have plentiful parking, and is it free?

When talking with the staff member who answers to phone you can learn a lot about the practice. If you don’t find them friendly and helpful over the phone, they aren’t likely to be that way in person. Think of this phone call as an additional screening tool.

Questions to Ask the Pediatrician

When you head out to meet with a potential doctor for your baby, it’s a good idea to write down a list of the questions you would like to ask. Think of questions that will help you to determine whether or not you and the doctor are on the same page when it comes to decisions about your child’s health. Here are some questions to consider:

  • What is the doctor’s view on topics like breastfeeding versus formula feeding, alternate vaccination schedules, circumcision and natural or alternative treatments?
  • What type of continuing education do they pursue to keep up on current research and treatments?
  • How long have they been practicing?
  • What hospital(s) are they affiliated with?
  • Do they generally come to the hospital to see the baby at birth or will you come to the office for the initial visit?
  • Will your child always see his own doctor, or will other doctors at the practice be involved in his care as well?

You can learn a lot from this initial visit to a potential pediatrician; not just from the answers to your questions, but from the doctor’s demeanor as well. Is the doctor friendly, responsive, and open to your questions? Did you feel you were heard and taken seriously? The way a doctor responds to you in this initial interview will likely be the same manner they display in visits with your child. If you didn’t feel comfortable, felt rushed or that your questions weren’t important, keep looking.

Finding the right doctor for your child might take some time and effort, but knowing you can trust this person with your child’s health is well worth it.

The Safety of Computer Use During Pregnancy

There has been a fear around using computers while pregnant that has been with us since the 1970s. If you use computers for a large part of your day, either for work or for school, then you might be concerned. The good news is, you have nothing to worry about. While there was once a concern that computer use could harm the unborn baby, causing miscarriage or birth defects, this is now not considered to be the case.

So what caused these concerns in the first place. In the 1970s there were clusters of miscarriages in the US, Canada, and in the UK. An article on babycenter.com cites a UK study of women working for the Civil Service. Women who worked with computers had a higher rate of miscarriage than those women who didn’t. However, this study just didn’t hold up to repeated research. There simply was no correlation to be found between computer use and miscarriages.

The potential danger in computer use during pregnancy was considered to come from the monitor. The monitor does put out electromagnetic radiation and this was the concern. It has been determined, after many years of study, that women and their unborn babies are safe when it comes to sitting in front of a computer screen. The electromagnetic radiation is non-ionizing and this means that it does not affect the body in the same way that x-rays and CT scans do.

The real concern these days when it comes to pregnant women using the computer for long periods of time is that they get little or no movement, which is crucial while pregnant. Sitting at a desk in front of a computer for hours is not recommended. If you must be at your computer for hours, then it is advisable to take frequent breaks during which time you get up and walk around. The general rule of thumb for the average person is 10 minutes per hour of sitting, but you will need to lengthen that while pregnant. Stretching will also help. Movement causes your circulation to get moving faster and it will help if you have any conditions such as sciatica.

It is also more important than ever to ensure that you have good ergonomics when you are pregnant. Make sure your chair and computer monitor are both at a good height so that your eyes are level with the top of the screen, your forearms are horizontal, and your wrists are straight. Your feet should be flat on the floor and your back should have good support. It is also a good idea to get your eyes checked and make sure that your vision is good.

Knowing that it is safe to work with a computer for long periods of time is a relief for those women who have to use a computer for many hours each day. Knowing that your baby is safe while you earn a living is important because the stress it would cause if you were to have to give up your job or have to find some way around using a computer would be monumental. In today’s world the computer is so much more important and integrated into society than it was in the 1970s. People use them at work and then come home and use computers for banking, paying bills, shopping, finding information, and keeping in touch with family and friends. Computers simply cannot be avoided. There is peace of mind in knowing you can use yours risk-free.

Fall for Fun: Great Autumn Activities!

Fall is a great season for family fun; the temperatures may be cooling off, but the great outdoors still has a lot to offer before winter sends us in to hide!

Gathering Fall Treasures

The cooler weather is great for getting out there and doing some hiking and exploring. Walk a nature path and examine the changes that the fall season is bringing. Gather fallen leaves and make a game of finding leaves from as many different trees as possible. Don’t lose them! You can bring them home for some fun autumn crafts. It’s also a great time to gather pine cones, also perfect for crafts.

Fall is pumpkin season, so find a pumpkin patch to explore! Let your kids choose their own pumpkin to turn into a jack-o-lantern. Look for a pumpkin patch that offers lots of fun family activities. Some have hayrides, farm animals for petting, corn mazes and more. It’s a perfect way to spend a fall day.

Pumpkins aren’t the only produce to go in search of in the fall. If you live in the right part of the country, you can go apple picking as well. Find a local orchard and pick your own apples. Take them home to bake an apple pie, dip them in caramel for a real fall treat, or just enjoy them as they are, fresh and delicious.

Fabulous Fall Crafts

Those treasures you gathered on your walk in the woods can be put to good use in some fun fall crafts. Leaves can be glued into a scrapbook, or used to make a colorful centerpiece for your table. Fill a clear vase with leaves to display them beautifully as a fall alternative to flowers.

Turn your pine cones into little animals; pull pipe cleaners through at the top and bottom, and twist them underneath to make two sets of legs. Then glue on craft eyes, and add various finishing touches to make different types of animals. A pig might have a curly pipe cleaner tail and perky felt ears. Add wings for a bird, or a cotton ball tail for a rabbit. The possibilities are endless.

Your kids will have fun making their very own scarecrow to watch over the yard. Bring it down to kid size by using outgrown baby clothes or old doll clothes. Put sticks through the arms and legs of the clothes, and stuff with leaves. A larger piece of wood will form a backbone to help your little scarecrow stand. Top it off with a miniature pumpkin for a head, and draw on a face with markers.

Get in the Game

Autumn is football season, and kids will really enjoy the fun of attending a game. Skip the expensive tickets for the pro teams and go support your local high school team instead. The smaller venue will give you a better view of the game, and the community camaraderie will warm the atmosphere even on a cool fall evening. Snacks and hot chocolate in a thermos complete a fun family night out.

You don’t have to be spectators all the time! Spend a fall afternoon in the back yard or at the park playing a friendly game as a family. Keep it safe for young kids by skipping the tackles and playing touch football instead. You’ll get some exercise and have a lot of fun at the same time.

Fall offers endless opportunities for fun with your children. Enjoy the outdoors before it gets too cold, and share the beauty and wonder of the changing natural world.

Air Travel: Should You While Pregnant?

Cause for travel can come up at any point in life, and while you are pregnant there is no exception. This travel could be planned, such as a family vacation you have been planning for months, it could be a last-minute getaway before baby is due to arrive, or it might be a trip due to a family emergency. Regardless of the reason for you flight, the American Pregnancy Association states that it is generally safe to travel throughout your pregnancy.

Of course, there are times when you will be advised not to travel. If you have had any complications with your pregnancy, have high blood pressure, have had any bleeding, or any other notable issues, then your doctor will tell you not to fly. Otherwise, you are free to travel. It is important to be aware that most airlines have a policy that allows pregnant women to fly up until their eighth month, but they will generally allow you to fly in your ninth month if you have a signed notice from your doctor allowing you to fly.

When flying during pregnancy, there are a few things to keep in mind. Try to get an aisle seat so that you can stretch your legs and back. If you can get a bulkhead seat that is even better because you might be able to stand up and walk a bit. This is important, especially on long flights. Sitting in the aisle also makes it easier to get to the washroom more easily.

Now for the washroom discussion. The aisles and washroom on an airplane are small and cramped, which will make it more difficult for you to maneuver. It is important to hold on to the backs of seats or the hand rails in the bathroom. When pregnant your center of gravity is different and balancing is more difficult. You need to be prepared if you are standing when turbulence hits.

Another thing to note when flying is that dehydration can happen more easily. Drink plenty of fluids before, during, and after your flight so that you can remain fully hydrated. While this might mean more frequent trips to an awkward washroom, it is better for you and baby.

You should also always travel on major airlines that have pressurized cabins. If you must travel on a small airplane, then be sure not to fly above 7,000 feet. You should also be sure to find out the regulations of the airline with which you are flying because you will need to know ahead of time if you need a note of permission from your doctor. Many airlines require this note to have been written within 48 hours of departure. Do not rely on the travel agency to inform you of these details as they often do not know them.

All in all it is safe for pregnant women to fly throughout their pregnancy. Of course, if you are close to term, you might want to consider if you want to risk having your baby on an airplane. Flying in your ninth month does pose the risk of going into labor on the airplane. You, with your doctor’s or midwife’s input, are your own best judge of your body, your pregnancy, and your situation. Whatever decision you make, enjoy your travel and enjoy your destination.

Super Games for Summertime Fun!

There is no season quite like summer for family fun. School is out, the sun is shining, and everyone is ready to get out and enjoy the warm weather. Keep your kids entertained all summer long with great games that keep them active and occupied. And don’t forget to get out there and play with them! You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy the summer, so grab the sunscreen and get out there.

Keep Your Cool

Not everyone has a pool in the backyard, but that shouldn’t keep you from cooling down and playing in the water. Turn your hose and small kid’s pool into your very own water park with a few simple adjustments.

Set up a small pool filled with water at the base of your play structure’s slide. Place the spout of the hose at the top of the slide and turn it on to create your very own waterslide. Add extra pizzazz by using a sprinkler next to the slide instead of the just the hose, giving kids a spray of water to slide through into the pool below.

Take a cue from a birthday party classic and make a summer pinata – only instead of candy, this piñata will shower down cooling water. You can make your own with a trash bag full of water suspended from a rope. Make your piñata prettier by using leftover orange trash bags from fall leaf collecting. Let the kids take turns being blindfolded and using a broom handle or stick to assault the bag until it bursts. Or, they can all go at it at once, and share in the downpour! Skip the blindfolds if you go this route, to make sure they don’t hit each other. For extra fun, add assorted waterproof prizes, such as small plastic toys.

Summer Sports

Summer afternoons were made for sports, and you don’t need to be an athlete to have fun. Nothing says summer more than a game of baseball. Get the family out to the park and take turns pitching and hitting. Or, simply play catch and get everyone in the game by playing in a circle, rather than back and forth between only two people.

No visit to the beach would be complete without a Frisbee. This classic beach toy is a must for family fun. Kids will have a blast chasing it through the sand and into the water too. In fact, there is nothing quite as cooling and fun as tossing a Frisbee around in the water. A diving catch is also a chance to take a dip and cool off! The family dog can join in this game as well, to your children’s delight.

Carnival at Home

Summer often brings a trip to the state or county fair, but you can have the same fun right at home. Turn your backyard into a carnival by setting up booths with fun games such as a ring toss, fishing game, and balloon-popping dart throw (save this one for older kids). Visit the dollar store for small prizes to award to the winners.

Put the finishing touches on your summer carnival with classic foods such as popcorn, hot dogs, corn dogs and cotton candy. And don’t forget the ice cream!

Summer days should be filled with memories your children will look back on fondly when they are grown. Make the most of your summer and head outside with the family for some of these classic summer games.

Keeping your Baby Healthy

Few things concern new parents more than the health of their baby. Although babies are delicate and have much weaker immune systems than adults, there are a few simple things you can do as a parent to ensure your baby stays healthy.

Baby’s Immune System

Newborns enter the world with no immunity to any of the many viruses and bacteria we come into contact with every day. They must build immunity over time, and the number one thing that you can do to help baby’s immune system grow stronger is to breastfeed. Breast milk, especially the early colostrum, contains antibodies your baby can’t get anywhere else. These will strengthen her immune system and give her an edge in fighting off common childhood illnesses.

Although there has been much controversy surrounding vaccinations in the past several years, the truth is that getting your baby immunized is a vital step in keeping her protected from potentially fatal illnesses. The reason so many childhood illnesses are practically non-existent in the US today is the strong push for vaccinations. If you are interested in an alternate vaccination schedule or have concerns about vaccines, talk to your baby’s doctor.

Well-baby Check Ups

Seeing your baby’s pediatrician regularly is vital to keeping your baby healthy. Well-baby check ups are scheduled at gradually widening intervals throughout your baby’s first two years, and yearly thereafter. These visits allow your baby’s doctor to monitor his health, and catch any signs of a problem early, before it can become serious. Well-baby visits are also the time when immunizations are usually scheduled.

You should also use these check ups as an opportunity to discuss any concerns you may have regarding your baby’s health. Remember that you are the first line of defense for your baby; because you spend more time with him than your doctor does, you are more likely to notice a problem. Don’t hesitate to bring it up, even if you aren’t sure it’s worth mentioning. Anything that concerns you should be taken seriously by your baby’s doctor.

Protecting Baby’s Health

A simple precaution you can take to avoid exposing your baby to harmful germs is to make sure you wash your hands or use a hand sanitizer before you touch her. Make sure that anyone else who wishes to touch her does the same. Don’t be afraid to stand up to strangers in public who want to touch your baby! It is your job to protect her while her immune system is not yet up to the task.

Make sure to ask friends and family to avoid visiting when they are sick. A cold that might be a minor inconvenience to an adult can hospitalize a newborn, so take this seriously. Your doctor may recommend avoiding busy public places with your newborn for the first few months, especially if your baby is born during cold and flu season. This doesn’t mean you are house-bound! Just try to keep your outings to less crowded places, and again, be cautious of strangers who want to check out your precious little one. Remind them it’s ok to look, but please don’t touch.

In spite of your best efforts, it’s likely that your baby will come down with several colds in the first year of life. However, if you have done your best to bolster his immune system and keep him healthy, hopefully they will be short-lived and infrequent.

A healthy baby is a happy baby, and that makes for happy parents too!

Your Baby: The Third Month

In the third month, you will start to see your baby’s personality emerging. Along with this new insight into who this little person is, you will also watch her strength and interaction with the world around her grow by leaps and bounds. As routines become established, the early sense of chaos a new baby brings will subside, and life with baby will become a little smoother.

Growth and Feeding

Rapid growth continues into the third month of life, but you may find that your baby isn’t waking as often at night wanting to eat. As your baby gains weight, she is able to sustain herself for longer periods of time without needing food. Night feedings will continue however, as she isn’t ready to go all night without eating yet.

Sleep Patterns

Your little one should have her days and nights straight by this point, and is starting to understand that night is for sleeping. Daytime sleep will settle into a routine in the third month as well, and you will be able to predict more accurately when your baby will need to take a nap, and when it’s safe to head out of the house. Encourage the sleep routine by sticking to the schedule as much as possible. You might find that disruptions to the routine will result in a very cranky baby.

Physical and Cognitive Development

In the third month your baby will gain muscle strength swiftly. He may be able to support his weight on his feet with your assistance, and will also be able to sit up with support. Neck control becomes much better; although when upright you will probably notice his head wobbling and when tired he may lose control and drop his head down on your chest or shoulder.

Your baby will discover a new favorite plaything sometime this month: his hands! You may see him waving them around before his eyes and putting them in his mouth. He will also use his newfound tools to hold objects and move them about. In the third month your baby will really start to enjoy brightly colored toys, especially if they make noises. Different textures will also fascinate him, and he may hold items and squeeze them, exploring the way they feel. Mirrors are another great toy at this age, as baby will be utterly fascinated by his own reflection.

Because your baby is able to stay more upright, he may show more interest in books at this age. Choose sturdy board or cloth books with contrasting patterns and large, colorful images. As you turn the pages, he may reach for the book or even vocalize in response to certain images. A familiar book will begin to elicit even more response. While the instinct might be to keep the book out of baby’s reach while you read, go ahead and let him touch and explore. You may never reach the end of the book, but he will be learning nonetheless.

Vocalizations will increase this month as baby adds new sounds to his repertoire. He may even try to imitate sounds that you make. At this point you may also be able to differentiate between different types of crying that indicate different needs. Your baby is beginning to understand better how to use his voice to communicate with you.

By the end of the third month, you may feel you don’t even recognize your baby anymore! The tiny newborn has been replaced with an active and interactive infant who is ready and willing to take on the world.

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