Trying to Get Pregnant with the Second Child

You’ve probably heard it all before. If you have tried to get pregnant and had a difficult time or taken a bit longer than expected, you’ve probably heard a bit of advice from everyone. You hear the old wives’ tales such as eating spicy foods. You hear the somewhat alternative medical advice such as to drink raspberry tea or to seek out acupuncture. You even hear from multiple sources to relax – and this can be the most frustrating of all the advice in the long run, even if it may be true.

The reality is that if you have suffered through fertility problems once, the notion of a second child can be a bit scary. Not because you don’t have enough love to embrace a second child, but rather because you may be scared of just how long the road can be to get pregnant with the second one. Many couples assume that when the time comes for them to be ready to start trying for a baby, it will just happen naturally. More and more couples are finding however that it’s not always that easy. Therefore many wonder what will happen when it comes to trying for baby number two.

It All Depends On Your Issues

When you think back upon what it took to get pregnant with your first child, you want to consider the lengths that you went to. You also want to think through what any possible fertility issues were and how they were handled. Was there something wrong with you? Was something amiss with your partner? If there was a truly legitimate fertility issue, then this can carry into your desire and ability to quickly conceive your second child.

If you could only become pregnant using methods such as injections, fertility drugs, or even something more extreme such as artificial insemination, then chances may be that this is the road you will have to travel again. The length of time it takes you to conceive each of your future children will rely heavily on what was required the first time around. If everything was just fine and it was just a fluke that it took so long, then you may have a very good shot at conceiving the “easy” way this time around. Talk to your doctor and be sure that you understand what you may be working up against, if anything.

Consider the Success Stories

Let’s say that it took you a couple of years to get pregnant with your first child, but there was really nothing wrong in terms of fertility problems. Many couples that go through such a scenario with their first child may find that conceiving the second child is much easier. Their bodies are a bit more relaxed and perhaps more primed for getting pregnant. They have other things to keep them busy and their first child gives them plenty to focus on.

Whether it’s an ability to relax, to focus on other things, or simply to get the equation right the first time, it happens much more easily the second time around for many couples. Again it all depends on you and your partner’s individual situation, but suffice it to say that if nothing was amiss that it may happen more easily than you had anticipated. When you know that you’re ready, just start trying or at least talk to your doctor beforehand if you think it will help. Take the pressure off of yourself and see if you can let nature take its course. Hopefully this time around will be a much easier and far shorter road to conception.

Preparing Your Older Children for the New Baby

Bringing a new baby home doesn’t just change your life; it also changes the lives of your older children. Especially if your firstborn was an only child prior to the new arrival, it can be a time of upheaval and confusion. Preparing your child for the new role of older sibling is important to a smooth transition into life with a new addition.

And Then There Were Two

When you are preparing for a second child, your firstborn will be getting ready to lose his comfortable number one position in your hearts. Sharing mom and dad’s attention is not something he is used to, and it will take some effort to help him to understand that while the new baby is going to need a lot of love and attention, you still have plenty for him.

How you explain the impending arrival to your first born will depend on his age. Very young children may not fully understand what you are trying to say; toddlers and preschoolers may understand better if you get a few books about becoming a sibling. The pictures in the book and simple text will make it easier to explain what it means that a new baby will be joining the family.

Getting Siblings Involved

A great way to get your older children excited about their soon to arrive sibling is to get them involved in the preparations for the baby’s arrival. Let them help to pick out items for the baby, and help you to decorate the nursery. Involve them in the process of choosing a name for the baby. Young children may have some strange suggestions, but there is no reason not to put “SpongeBob” on the name list, even if it’s not really under consideration.

If you have a much older child, consider asking if she would like to take a babysitting course. She will learn a lot about how to help care for her sibling, and that knowledge will make her feel more confident in the position of big sister as well as a great help to you.

When Baby Comes

As your due date approaches, you should make arrangements for the care of younger children during your hospital stay. Make sure they know what is going to happen and aren’t surprised to wake up to Grandma’s face instead of yours. If you will need to send them to a friend or family member’s house for a few days, help them to pack a bag ahead of time and keep it with your prepared hospital bag so you can head out the door quickly. Make sure they don’t leave home without any comfort items they are used to having, such as a blanket or a stuffed animal.

Young children may find the idea of mommy going to the hospital a little frightening, so be sure they know that you aren’t sick and will be home in a few days. If you plan to have your children visit you with the new baby, check hospital regulations on young visitors ahead of time, and make sure that sick kids stay home as newborns are very susceptible to illness.

The arrival of a new baby is a source of upheaval for everyone in the home, but perhaps most for the older children. You may see some behavior that is out of character for your kids, a result of jealousy or simply an attempt to get your attention. As trying as it can be, cut your older kids a little slack in those first weeks. They are going through an adjustment period too, and will soon get used to the changes.